• 1/4 lb of butter (1/2 cup or 1 stick)
• 1/2 cup of brown sugar
• 1/2 cup of white sugar
• 1 egg
• 1/2 Tbsp vanilla
• 1 cup of flour
• 1 cup of chopped oats
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1 cup shredded coconut (sweetened)
• 1 cup 12 oz pack chocolate chips (semi-sweet or milk)
• 1/2 cup of chopped walnuts

Melt butter and mix into sugars.  Add egg and vanilla until creamy.  Add four, oats, baking soda & salt to an even consistency.  Add coconut, chocolate chips and walnuts until mixture resembles bowlful of wet granola bar.  Place on ungreased cookie sheet about 2 inches apart  and bake at 350* for about 10 to 12 minutes (depending on oven).  After cooling, cookies should have crisp edges and a soft center.

I met Jen on a mission trip to Mexico between my Sophomore and Junior years of high school.   Our bond was one of distance, but withstood college years and even through our tumultuous twenties.  I kept in touch with her regularly because she was like a sister.  Any time I spoke with her on the phone, IM chatting, or even face-to-face visits, it felt as if no time had passed between our previous time together.

I got the news of her passing through a voice mail between sessions during my graduate school’s  winter review.  I do not gracefully handle the notion of loss.   To realize that a loved one is actually gone can take me awhile, sometimes years.   Especially a cherished-but-distant friend like Jen.

Selfishly I never contacted her family to offer my condolences.  “Selfishly” because not talking to them would prevent a complete realization of her absence.  Do I feel like an asshole?   Yes.  But Jen understood this kind of selfishness - we were close enough to have discussed it, and memories of her do not haunt me for wanting to pretend that she still lives outside of New York commuting every day over an hour on the train to her job into the City at the lighting company where she just barely uses her Masters in Lighting Design for Theatre to make a living, occasionally telling me how delightfully comfortable she is in her relationship with her boyfriend, Grant.

Whether we realize it or not, the people with whom we surrounded ourselves help us grasp a better understanding of “self.”  They are - we all are - mirrors for us to see ourselves and define what we are, or are not.   Jen was one of my most trusted mirrors.  I perceived her to understand me even when I didn’t understand myself.  How do I locate myself now?  Jen was an extension of my own cynicism.  Now I’m left lacking.   I don’t know how to make sense of this lack and I continue to grieve even after a year.

Here’s one titled “Hoist Yourself”:

Two marvelous things about using 3-dimensional software to design layouts: 1) I have a model from which I can actively choose different angles and perspectives without having to figure out in my head how certain things should look from certain angles, cutting down on the number of thumbnail sketches, 2) after designing a building/street/room once, I can refer to it countless times afterwards for the sake of continuity without having to try and remember details or scale issues, 3) it allows me to design interiors as well as architectural exteriors, and 4) I have an actualized representation of what’s in my head - how cool is that?? - so I can realize logistical issues while writing future episodes.  Is Chip’s school visible from the town square?  Where is Bridget’s gated community in relationship to Dalton’s shack of a home?

It is not my intention to animate in 3-D because I like the traditional aesthetic of 2-D cell-based animation.  But I can save tons of time by using the model to set up shots for each scene, then use Photoshop to stylize them the way I want while still maintaining accurate forms and perspectives.

 I’ve been having trouble getting the backgrounds and characters to look the way I want.  Part of that trouble comes from not knowing how I want them to look.  I’ve been exploring different comic, cartoon/animation and anime styles lately and it’s overwhelming.  I know I want a style that doesn’t rely on too much detail or precision.  But I don’t want my characters’ physicality to be too exaggerated.  But also not too realistic.  Obviously I’ll figure it out after much more drawing and much more research, but this seems to be where I currently am:

I’m simply not convinced.